My cousin’s husband passed away late last week and my heart has been breaking for her ever since. I can’t stop thinking about her or her kids. I wonder how you find the strength to wake up the next day and take care of all the things you that demand your attention. I wonder how you comfort your little ones while your own heart is breaking. I wonder how she is doing and what I can do to console her from afar.

It reminds me that life doesn’t always go as we have planned and how young thirty-something really is. It makes me want to hug my loved ones a little tighter. It is cliché, but it reminds me that life is short and that making lasting memories with my family should be my top priority.

It reminds me that finding the time and energy for a family adventure is worth the effort. A game of hide-and-seek after dinner is a lot more important than loading the dishwasher. My little routine of making Evan into the bed—layering the sheets and blankets on top of him and then trying to smooth out the lump in the middle—gives him a story to tell his daddy even if it means our morning task takes longer than it should.

I would like to say I do those things as often as I should. Sometimes my have-to-do list takes precedence over my should-do and want-to-do lists. I think that happens to all of us from time to time.

So tomorrow, after I try to find the right words as I write a card for my cousin, I am also going to sit down and write out my want-to-do list. I am going to keep it right next to my to-do list and make it a point to check some things off of it, too.