My Dear Sweet Evan,

Today you are four. This is a very important day for you—one you’ve been talking about for at least six months. You know, as do I, that four year olds are big kids. You welcome that fact, while I resist it. I know that you are meant to grow and change, but the time is going by so much faster than I could have imagined.

It has been said that the days are long but the years are short, and it is true.  It seems like just yesterday you surprised me by arriving five weeks ahead of schedule.

You’ve been surprising me ever since. When I look back at the pictures from our first few days together, I think about all that I’ve learned since then. I had no way of knowing how much you’d love Oreos (pronounced eeerios), Tic Tacs or superheroes. I would never have guessed that you’d fall in love with hockey and turn the rest of us into fans right along with you.

I didn’t know how much time we’d spend dancing in the kitchen or negotiating over bedtime.

You adore mornings and wake up treating each day like the gift it really is. You rise before dawn each day and find your way into our room asking if it is morning time. 

I know I am going to forget so much about these early years. I’m grateful to have written notes and digital reminders of the things I adore about you. I love that you blow me kisses from across the table and that you fall asleep while we read bedtime stories. You can only drink milk if you have your special bear, which is so tattered and worn. You love Band-aids and request them for every bump and scratch. They make you feel better, so I oblige. In all honestly, I give in to most of your requests because in the grand scheme of things, they are really quite small but mean the world to you right now. 

When you were a baby, I had a hard time seeing the little boy you’d become. Just like right now I can’t picture you as your eight-year-old self or, gasp, the "growb up" you are so eager to become.

I love watching you grow. I love the ways you surprise me. You’ve made me love, laugh, worry and think more than I could have ever imagined.  Thank you for making me a mama and for being such a joy.  

Love you,

Mommy