Author Archives: Mindy Long / @mindywrites

Friday Favorites

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Here are a few of my favorite reads and online stops from this week:

If you’re a writer, you have to read Robert Lee Brewster’s blog My Name is Not Bob. Every week I have a favorite post from him. This week it is on branding and it is a great read for established writers and newbies alike.

As someone who loves Pinterest, I found this article on the site and its copyright violations interesting.

Dr. Seuss’s birthday is coming up. How are you going to celebrate? Find some inspiration here. If you’re up to it, you could try out the Lorax cake pops featured on Bakerella this week.

I hope you enjoy your weekend. My hubby is heading to a conference, and the kiddos and I are going to clean some baby items out of the attic and prep for my little guy’s birthday, which is coming up soon. I am also going to wrap up a couple of newsletter articles and a full-length feature during my little ones’ naps and after bedtime. What is on your agenda?

Batman + Phonics = Fun

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My little guy is in love with the Batman Phonics Fun box set of books. It is awesome! Each book outlines a different sound and highlights the words in the book that use that sound.

Plus, it combines easy-to-read words and superheroes. Yeah! That short ‘a’ sound is so much more fun when it is in the word Batman and don’t even get me started on the long ‘o’ in Joker. Evan gets so excited when he hears the featured vowel sound and he always shouts, “I heard it!” We have had to stop reading the books at bedtime because he gets so into it.

Evan is also learning to recognize words in the books. I love that he is learning to read simply from having fun with the books he likes. As both an avid reader and a writer, I want my kids to associate reading with something that’s enjoyable. That’s what its all about, isn’t it?

The Joy of Blogging

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My blogging-turned-real-life friend Sarah wrote a post several weeks ago about the role blogging plays in her life. It made me think about my own reasons for blogging. When I first joined the blogosphere, it was simply because I wanted to write. I liked telling stories about my work and my kids and used my blog as a way to share ideas and keep in touch with real-world and internet friends.

Then I went to writing conferences and read articles that said writers should blog, need to blog to build a platform. I went from wanting to write to feeling overwhelmed by what others might expect to see in this space. Somewhere in there, I lost sight of my blogging goal: To build a little community where I can connect with, learn from and laugh with others. I also hope to share some things that work for me and maybe (just maybe) inspire others along the way.

I recently wrote a keynote speech for a client. In the speech, he wanted to relay a story he read about why animal trainers rely on stools to tame lions. When a trainer enters a lion’s cage with the four legs of a stool pointing towards the lion’s face, the lion tries to focus on all four legs at once. It can’t and a kind of paralysis overwhelms it. The lion becomes tame and weak because its attention is fragmented.

In worrying about what others expected to see in this space, my attention became fragmented. More often than not, posting became something I felt like I should do and I worried I wasn’t doing it right. But it has become fun again. I am going to continue blogging about freelancing and my kiddos because that is my little world right now, but I’m going to worry less about the ratio of writing posts to family posts and focus more on the joy I get from being a part of the blogosphere. I hope you’ll continue to come along on the journey!

Gaining Control

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Checking Off the To-Do ListThe freelance life comes with uncertainties. I can’t always predict how much work I’ll have or when, clients’ needs may change, last-minute projects arise and sources may be hard to line up.

The very nature of this lifestyle means I lack a certain amount of control. I don’t mind the ebbs and flows that come with freelancing, but there are a few things that help me maintain my sanity. Here are four ways to help keep (or gain) control as freelancer.

1. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can get done today. When you have a deadline that is six weeks away, it might be tempting to put off interviews for a few more weeks. But I’ve found that you never know what might happen. A great project with a pressing deadline may come your way or you might come down with the flu. The freelance lifestyle doesn’t come with sick days or anyone else to pick up the slack, so it is important to stay on top of things. That means you should line up those interviews and start researching stories as soon as you get the assignment, even if you have to flip over the calendar to write down the deadline.

The same holds true with family to-dos. Evan’s birthday party is still a few weeks away, but his fully assembled goody bags and paper goods have been sitting in my guest closet for well over a month now. I took care of it when I had some spare time and I am so happy I did because the last few weeks have been crazy for me. In addition to a busy work schedule, I’ve had sick kids that have needed some extra love and care. It is nice to know I have one less thing on my to-do list.

2. Utilize lists. And speaking of to-do lists, I really do use pen and paper to make them. My to-do lists seem less overwhelming when I actually take the time to write them down instead of stressing about them in my mind. More often than not, seeing my to-dos in black and white brings a sense of relief and let’s me focus on the most important items first. Plus I feel oh-so-good when I can start checking things off of those lists.

3. Keep projects front and center. Right now I have a handful of primary clients. To stay organized, I have clipboards for three of my clients that hang above my desk. Each clipboard holds information about my latest assignment, the deadline, sources and the status of those I’ve talked to. I love having an at-a-glance overview of my assignments. For my other clients, I have file folders with key project information. I find a certain amount of comfort in having hard copies of assignments and research at my fingertips.

4. Determine how long you think a project should take and try to stick to the schedule. I try to determine how much time I should spend on a project based on a) how long it will take to produce the results I want and b) what my rate is. Once I get that number, I try to be as efficient as possible to come in on target.  It really helps cut out the amount of time I spend surfing the web or completing other non-work tasks during work time.

That’s what works for me, but I’d love to learn from you. What tips do you have on maintaining control of your life?

Image by Gary Mcinnes courtesy of Stock Exchange. 

My Mantra

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When the day (or even the hour or minute) is particularly hectic and I am at my wits end, I repeat a few little words that bring back a sense of calm: God, give me the grace for this day. It is the first line Marjorie Holmes’s prayer Just for Today. Those few little words are my form of meditation. They remind me that the moment is temporary. Whether the kids or screaming or I am crashing on deadline, it helps. Here’s the poem, in case it helps you, too!

Just for Today

Oh, God, give me grace for this day.
Not for a lifetime, nor for next week, not for tomorrow, just for this day.
Direct my thoughts and bless them,
Direct my work and bless it.
Direct the things I say and give them blessing, too.
Direct and bless everything that I think and speak and do.
So that for this one day, just this one day, I have the gift of grace that comes from your presence.

Photo by J-Stuart courtesy of Stock Exchange.

Friday Favorites

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Here are a few of my favorite reads from this week:

This list of top blogs for writers by My Name is Not Bob is a great resource.

The Writer’s Digest blog post Six Tips to Resuscitate a Dying Author Blog has some good ideas.

Love this video from Freshly Picked about getting clear about what you want and then going after it (thanks Amy for sharing!).

I can’t wait to see this documentary about Harper Lee that will be out in May.  I read my older brother’s ratty old copy of To Kill a Mockingbird every year (think high school English circa 1985). Not only do I love the book, I love seeing my brother’s notes in the margins.

This video about the effect of t.v. on the minds of young children made me rethink what I let my kids watch. It also made me happy we spend a lot of time reading in our house.

And, if you’re looking for something to do with the kiddos, try out these beads made out of newspaper. They’re on our agenda for this weekend.

Saying Goodbye to Granny

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One of the best things about marrying Bryan was that I had a grandma again. She lived in Las Vegas when we got married and moved closer to us about six years ago. We have loved having her here and I feel so lucky to have watched as she and Evan fell head-over-heels in love with each other. The two of them developed a special little bond that I hope will last forever. After all, Granny was the one who gave Evan his special little Taggie Bear that he clings to each night.

Evan’s favorite thing to do was to take Granny donuts. Yesterday when I told him Granny was sick, he said, “I know what will make her feel better! Let’s you, me, dad and Madelyn take her donuts.”

It’s what we’ve always done, but I explained that she might be going to Heaven this time and we might not get to see her again. His face got very still and he said, “But I want to take her her favorite donut before she goes to Heaven.”

He didn’t get to. Granny left us this morning. I know she was ready to go. Just a few weeks ago I asked her how she was feeling and she said, “Mindy, I’m afraid I’m going to live to be 100.” I told her I wanted her to, and I meant it. I loved my visits with Granny. We’d share recipes and books and she always smiled when she saw my kids. She was a kick to be around.

She ended each day with a Manhattan—a cocktail made with nothing more than whiskey, vermouth and bitters. Granny preferred Jack Daniels to Jim Beam. One time, Bryan and I went to dinner with Granny and we decided we’d each have a Manhattan along with her. I had no idea what was even in a Manhattan, but if Granny liked it, I figured I could handle it, too. Bryan and I couldn’t stomach them and Granny ended up finishing all three.

I always loved visiting Granny when she lived in Las Vegas. Bryan and I would pick her up her favorite coconut cake from Jerry’s Nugget and play Bingo with her at the Station Casinos. She was a regular there. The valets knew her name and the waitresses knew her drink.

Granny was a machine in the casino. She had five Bingo cards to my two and could still have all of her cards stamped and lean over to help me before the next number was called. I think I was a sweaty mess from the stress of it all by the time we made our way to the slots. She was just as skilled there. At one point, I won. Granny leaned over and did the math before the slot machine finished ringing up my numbers. She was dead on.

Shortly after Granny moved to Maryland, Bryan and I saw a news report about the Station Casinos’ stock price dropping. Ever the accountant, Bryan created an Excel spreadsheet that showed the direct correlation between Granny’s move and the decreasing profits at the casino. I think Vegas missed her as much as she missed Vegas.

Fortunately for us, she moved here right before we started our family and got to be among the first people to hold both of my kids when they were born.

When Evan was a toddler, we started each visit at Granny’s house by moving her red candy dishes off of her coffee table. Then, as Evan grew, he would move the candy dishes all on his own. When Madelyn started toddling around, she would take the wrapped candy out of each dish and deliver them one at a time to Granny. She would then retrieve them all and place them back in the dish one by one.

Granny has been a part of every birthday and holiday my kids have ever known.

They got to color Easter eggs with her and show off their Halloween costumes.

They picked out Christmas and birthday gifts for her and loved going out to eat. In the summer, we’d stop at Jimmy Cone for ice cream after our meal. Everyone went home sticky.

It was Granny who slipped Evan his first bites of ice cream when he was just a baby. I think that is when they became true partners in crime.

Last night, Bryan and I visited Granny in the hospital. She didn’t open her eyes, but we held her hand and cried by her bed. I thanked her for loving my kids. Because really, that is the best gift you can ever give a mother—to love her kids.

She always had some sort of special treat for Evan—a toy truck, a piece of cake or even just a piece of candy. She also had a kiss and a hug for him and did the same for Madelyn when she came along.

Tonight before bed, Evan told me he didn’t want to never see Granny again. I told him I felt the same way. Then I asked him what he loved most about her. “She was so nice,” he said.

As we left the hospital last night, I held my husband’s hand and told him how lucky he is to have gotten to have Granny for so long. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it may even make it worse, especially as we try to explain things to Evan and mourn Granny’s loss. But I am oh-so grateful I got to have a grandma again despite the pain that comes from having to say goodbye. She was an awesome lady and I know Bernie is happy to have her with him again.

Well-Meaning Dream Killers

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When I announced my decision to go freelance over three years ago, a handful of well-meaning people tried to talk me out of it. They told me how hard it is to make a living as a freelancer, they reminded me that work would be unsteady and they also brought up the fact that I’d no longer have health insurance or a 401(k) match.

I smiled and nodded. I told them I understood the risks. Sometimes I told them rewards would be much greater. Other times I kept my mouth shut, but each time I thought of my little boy who I wanted to spend more time with and I continued on my path determined to prove them wrong.

The truth is, every day naysayers talk people out of pursuing their dreams. Taking charge of your career path and becoming the captain of your own ship isn’t easy and those that are easily persuaded may not be well suited for the challenges that come with entrpreneurship, but I’m sure plenty are. As hard as it is, we have to silence the negative voices that keep us from taking risks and persuing our dreams. Sometimes those voices are our own.

I had wanted to freelance  years before I finally did it. My fears kept me on a path that came with a steady paycheck and benefits. I loved my job and what I was doing, so rocking the boat felt risky. Then, my son came along. I hired a nanny and returned to work full time after my maternity leave was over, but the fit wasn’t right. Finally, my little guy was the catalyst that made me hang my own shingle. I knew how hard it was to kiss him goodbye each morning and get home just in time to put him to bed. I also knew that I had the skills and the personality that would allow me to chart my own course. I was certain the rewards would outweigh the risks of being self employed and had confidence in my abilities.

I think we all need some motivating factor to make us take the next step. Mine was the deep desire to structure a career around my family, but for you it might be something else. I know not everyone dreams of being a freelancer, but I am certain we all have dreams. No matter what your ambition is, grab onto it because I’m sure your capable of it. I was, but it would have been very easy to let even those well-meaning people I know talk me out of it. Now, nearly four years later, I have two little kiddos I get to spend more time with and I am making a full-time living as a freelancer. If I can find a way to do it, I know you can to.

 

Writing Lessons from Angry Birds

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Angry Birds Image

I’ve heard about Angry Birds for years, but I had no interest in it until my four year old came home from preschool sharing stories about the game from his friends. In the name of good parenting, I had to download it. Who am I to deprive my preschooler of an apparent rite of passage, right?

As I feared, I’ve spent more time playing it than I should. In the game, you use a slingshot to fire birds at pigs that are either on or inside structures. The goal is to destroy all of the pigs, and I’m addicted. Getting bumped up to the next level is as gratifying as getting my Master’s degree.

I’ve been knocking off the levels like gangbusters, and that kind of success requires a strategy: If I’ve tried to destroy the pigs a few times and failed, I switch gears and try a completely new way of doing things. If aiming the bird low doesn’t work, I aim high. If I’ve been aiming high with no success, I aim low, even when it doesn’t seem like the most logical approach. But you know what? It works. As I’ve been thinking about it, I realize I apply the same tactic to my writing.

If I’m stuck on a story, I often will save the file under a new name and begin experimenting until I find my stride. I’ll strip the piece down to its bones. I’ll rewrite the lead with a whole new angle and completely reorganize the story. I cut out large chunks of info and save them in a file labeled cuts. More often than not, trying something completely new is exactly what the story needed.

In writing, you can’t be afraid to kill your darlings. You also have to be willing to change your strategy when you find your approach isn’t working. Sometimes a slightly different approach can yield big results.  

The same applies to life. Experimenting with Angry Birds or a Word document is far easier than switching gears within your career or family life, but it can sometimes be just as necessary. Although the new year is officially underway, I’m still thinking over my goals for 2012 and I’m especially pondering the small changes that will allow me to work smarter and find more time for more projects.

I’m curious. Have you ever made a change that seemed small that ended up making a big difference? 

Goings On

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Kids opening Christmas gifts
 

— We’ve spent the past week or so Christmasing with family in Utah. It has been a wonderful time (even though everyone in my little family got hit hard with the flu) and I hate to see it come to an end.

— During my trip, writer and solopreneur Alexis Grant featured me in a Q&A about freelancing on her blog, which is a valuable resource about writing and striking out on your own. It was great to be a part of her site. Thanks, Alexis!

— Also while in Utah, an editor reached out to me and asked if I’d be interested in providing regular support for a few sections within his magazine. I am so excited to take on the project and I’ve already been plotting how I’m going to re-organize my desk to create room for my new responsibilities.

— As part of my Christmas gifts, my husband gave me a Kindle, and I’m becoming an e-reader convert. It is super easy to buy a new book at any hour of the day. I think it was 2 a.m. when I downloaded Christina Katz’s The Writer’s Workout. This quote by Stephen King within the book resonated with me: “If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn’t bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.” I love little reminders that I am finding success as a writer. 

— We still have a few more days before the kids start school again and life returns to normal. I'm hoping to soak in a little more of the Christmas spirit before we start packing away all the decorations and find places to put all of the wonderful gifts we received. I hope you're enjoying the holidays as much as we are.