Being Funny for Money

One of my favorite things about freelancing is the sheer number of ways people can make a living off of the written word. A friend of mine, Bill Linden, is a gag writer and writes some of the jokes you see in the comics each week.

The Shoe Comic Strip

Ever since we met I’ve been curious about being a professional gag writer, so I asked Bill to answer a few questions. Being funny for money isn’t easy, but Bill is making it work by leveraging his connections and writing tons of gags. Bill shared his insight and a handful of the gags he has written. Enjoy!

Q: How long have you been writing gags and how did you get started as a gag writer? 

A: In the mid 1980’s my wife worked with Pulitzer Prize winning editorial
cartoonist Jeff MacNelly’s third wife, Scottie. The four of us would often go out
together and have fun. Jeff had started the comic strip “Shoe” in 1977. As a lark I wrote some and he bought two. I was paid $25 each. He gave me the original,
which now hangs proudly in our “Elvis/Beatles/Pop Culture” “Guest Suite.” Jeff & Scotty went their separate ways, as did our foursome. I was having brunch with Scottie in late 1999 and she mentioned Jeff was really sick and why don’t I send him some gags. I did and he liked what I sent in. Unfortunately he passed away way too young in the middle of 2000. The strip was continued on by Susie MacNelly (Jeff’s fourth wife), Chris Cassatt (producer) and Gary Brookins (he draws it). They decided to keep me on as one of the gag writers. I send 85 gags to them a week, here is is example of what my gags look like that I send:

B17–Scene: Sky & Cosmo at home watching TV…
Panel 1: Sky: “Uncle Cosmo?”
Cosmo: “Yes?”
Panel 2: Sky: “What reality shows did you have as a kid?”
Cosmo: “The 10 O’Clock news.”

We have a six-week lead time which is why most comic strips aren’t that topical. If I write a gag about something that happens today, it most likely won’t be
relevant six weeks from today (exception to the rule: insert wacky Republican
hijinx gag here…).

Q: How did/do you connect with the cartoons you write for?

A: When Johnny Hart passed away (creator of B.C. & “Wizard Of Id”) in 2007 the Hart family asked my “Shoe” people if I’d like to write for them also, my “Shoe” people asked me if I would like to and I said sure if they didn’t mind. They didn’t mind. I usually try to send the Hart family 50 gags a week (25 B.C. & 25 “Wizard of Id”).
Q: What is the process for pitching? 

A: It is a hard business to break into. As you read I only got into by
knowing the people involved then being recommended by them to others. I have
tried contacting other cartoonists (because I have a backlog of ten years of
unsold gags) through their syndicates, through snail mail or email, and the results
have been very disappointing. Either they don’t want to deal with the hassle of
buying freelance gags or they prefer writing them themselves. OR they don’t
want to pay or pay very little. The going rate today is around $75-$100 a gag if
they buy it. Although one strip that I won’t mention (or I would ever write for
again) paid me $20 not that long ago!

Q: I am sure it is a lot harder than people think to be funny for money. What are some tips you can offer for people who are looking to get into comedy writing? 

A: DON’T!!! But if you must… Get a THICK SKIN!!! Gag writing is NOT for the faint-hearted folk who take rejection personally. Out of the 85 gags I send in a week, I’m lucky if I average THREE sold (that’s 82 unsold that go in the files!)

Q: Why don’t you have a blog?

A: What’s a blog?

Q: You are a great entertainer on Facebook. How do people find you on FB? 

A: People can find me on Facebook under “Bill Linden.” There’s lots of Bill Lindens but I’m the only one with a profile picture of me standing between Marilyn Monroe’s legs looking up her skirt. But hurry. There’s a 5,000 friend limit and I already have 873!

About Bill: Bill’s occupations in previous lives include bitter and disillusioned graphic designer/art director for the Chicago Sun-Times, bitter and disillusioned 
Hollywood screenwriter, and a bitter and disillusioned gag writer for comic strips. When not writing gags, photographing Chicago or being bitter and disillusioned, Bill finds his charity work with the elderly quite rewarding. Once a week he takes his dear, feeble, white-haired mother, Josephine, to Denny’s® for a “Moons Over My Hammy”®. Once every six weeks, he even buys.” Bill lives by the mottos, “If you can’t beat ’em, mock ’em!” and “That what does not kill me makes me bitter and disillusioned.”

IMG: Bill Linden's 999 Bees in my BonnetAbout Bill’s book: Bill’s many adventures have taught him a lot—about what drives him nuts! He’s excited to share, for your reading pleasure, 999 Bees in My Bonnet: A Collection of Irritating Irritants. Whether it’s the double-crossing staff at Traitor Joe’s, reptile dysfunction, “Northern” fried chicken, or seven-year jock itch, Bill’s got a gripe to crack you up. There may be bees in his bonnet, but boy, are they makin’ honey! It is available on SmashWords or Amazon.

Five Tips for Making Mommy Hours Work

Evan, Mindy and Madelyn at the Cherry Blossom FestivalAs a freelancer, I work “mommy hours.” During my kids’ preschool hours, naptimes and after they go to bed, I am at my laptop. I love being able to work around my kids’ schedules, but it isn’t always easy. Here are five tips for making mommy hours work:

1. Protect your work time—both the daytime and the nighttime hours. I have limited daytime hours, and I have to use them wisely to ensure I can take care of client calls and interviews. I don’t meet up with friends for coffee, shop or chat on the phone with friends or family. I head straight home after dropping my kids off and as soon as I walk in the door, I head downstairs to my home office and start working. I look past dishes that may need to be done or laundry I should fold, which means my house is not nearly as tidy as I would like, but I am able to grow my business and meet my clients’ needs. I take care of my household chores in the morning before I take my kids to school, evenings as I’m prepping dinner and on the weekends.

My nighttime hours are just as valuable as my daytime hours, so I usually spend those at the laptop, too. I wrote about skipping happy hour in this post.

2. Be flexible. As a freelancer, customer service is paramount. I have to deliver on the projects I take on, so my number one goal is to get the job done. Not everyone works mommy hours and there will be times when a source or client needs to talk with you outside of your scheduled work time. There are plenty of times I need to call in a sitter or set my kids up with an activity that will keep them entertained for a half hour or more. If I know I’m going to have a heavy workload on a day my kids don’t have school, I try to tucker them out in the morning to take advantage of long naps in the afternoon. Just last week I had four interviews lined up for Friday afternoon—a time when my kids will be with me. My kiddos each had classes in the morning (Evan at preschool and Madelyn at Little Gym), then we hit the park for a picnic and a few hours of playtime. Both kids fell asleep in the car on the way home and I was able to knock out all of my calls. I also recognize that this nap time was a gift from the gods, because it doesn’t always work out this way, but I am oh-so happy when it does!

3. Be honest. When I first started freelancing, I tried to hide the fact that I work around my kids’ schedules. I would create little activities to entertain Evan if I needed to take a call after he was home from preschool and rarely asked someone if he could offer up another, more convenient time to talk. As I’ve gotten more stable (and comfortable) as a freelancer, I’ve been able to rein in some of that and tell people upfront what times I’m available. Being honest about what times work for me hasn’t hurt my career and, if anything, it can be an icebreaker when I’m talking with other working parents. I think becoming more comfortable and confident with where I am in life right now has actually helped my business. Plus, I am proud that I am able to keep “mommy hours” and build a successful freelancing business, so here is no reason to hide it. That being said, refer back to tip #2.

4. Plan ahead. To maximize my daytime hours, I spend time each evening plotting out how I’m going to structure the coming day. I review my calendar, ensure I have all of the contact information I need for reaching sources and send any emails that I need to get out. I also look a few weeks out so I keep all of my deadlines straight and can prioritize the interviews I need to get done. I do most of my actual writing in the evenings and on the weekends, so I’ll often schedule certain stories or editing projects for certain nights. Taking a broad look also lets me find time to volunteer at my kids’ school or schedule in doctor and dentist appointments that I have to take care of during preschool time.

5. Be grateful. I know that working mommy hours is a gift. Not everyone has that luxury, so even on the days that are hectic and I’m trying to figure out how to get it all in, I give thanks for ability to work around my kids’ schedules as much as I do. That helps me keep perspective and see those late nights or crazy afternoons as a gift and not a burden. Plus, I know these years are going to go by in the blink of an eye. Evan turned five this month and today we are having a meet and greet with his kindergarten teacher. Starting in the fall, my little guy will be in school all day five days a week. I’m sad he’ll be away from me so much, but I am certain I will use that time wisely.

Make Time for Employee Motivation

Earlier this year, employee morale around my shop was low. I wasn’t happy, but I couldn’t figure out why. The more I thought about it, I realized that I wasn’t being a good boss, even though I am the boss.

I was requiring long hours, making do with technology that wasn’t working quite right and I’d completely neglected employee motivation. I started making a few changes and I’m happy with the results. Here’s what’s changed:

Bonuses: Honestly, the “bonuses” in my business are hockey lessons for Evan and Little Gym for Madelyn—not to mention the occasional trip to Toys R Us for the two of them. That’s great, but it doesn’t always give me the boost I need to do my job better. So, as a little treat, I renewed subscriptions to some writing magazines I like that I had let lapse. I love getting some monthly doses of inspiration delivered right to my mailbox. I also had an amazing illustrator create a new banner for this blog. I loved working with her and was inspired by the whole creative process. Now I just have to get it up!

Oh, and, my hubby and I started treating ourselves to take out a few times a month. After the kids go to bed, we order in, and sit down and have dinner together. We don’t spend a lot of money on eating out and would spend even less on it if I weren’t working, so this is a special treat for us. Plus, it is something I really look forward to each week. Sometimes it the little things that can make the biggest difference.

Create a Pleasant Work Environment: In my last full-time office job, the company kept the refrigerator stocked with Diet Coke. I can’t tell you how often I reached for a soda around 3:00 to give myself an energy boost. Those sodas made me happy, and a happy employee is a productive one. I keep my fridge at home stocked and I hit it frequently during the day. I look at the expense as a cost of doing business. Music, a (sometimes) clean workspace and an awesome office chair I splurged on last year also add to my work environment.

Create Convenience: There are little things in my home office I had learned to work around because I didn’t want to invest the time or money necessary to fix them. Of course, if I worked in an office I’d have been on the line to tech support months ago. I finally took the time to troubleshoot a few things and the end result made my life a lot easier. And, they were a lot easier than I’d expected to fix.

What’s next? I’d like to start making an effort to celebrate milestones. I don’t necessarily measure milestones like I did when I first started freelancing, which makes it hard to celebrate them, but I’m going to get better about it. Whether its meeting financial goals or turning in a certain number of features, there are dozens of ways I can measure success.

How about you? How do you stay motivated?

Five Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started Freelancing

Mindy Long Byline1. Reaching out to those you know for work isn’t as scary as it seems. The first time I drafted an email to colleagues and former co-workers letting them know I was hanging my own shingle and that I’d love to work for them, I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know how they’d react and somehow asking for work felt desperate. Luckily, within minutes I had several replies offering congratulations and opportunities to work together. That was about four years ago and I am still working with all of the people who responded to my initial email.

2. Don’t be afraid to turn down work. When you’re livelihood depends on making a sale, it can be tempting to take on any project that comes your way. But, the truth is, you can do more harm than good when taking on work that doesn’t suit you. As a freelancer, your reputation is crucial, so taking on a project that doesn’t draw on your strengths or doesn’t match with your standards is a bad idea. You might be interested in this short post I wrote a few years ago after turning down a big project. 

3. Build in time for office tasks. When I first started freelancing, I underestimated how much time it would take to deal with invoicing and routine home-office chores. I’m still finding ways to streamline running my business, but now I know to factor in office work into my weekly routine.

4. Work within your designated workspace. While I could cart my laptop to any room in my house or work from a coffee shop down the street, I do better when I’m at my desk in my home office. Having my phone and files at my fingertips saves me time and being at my desk puts me in my work mode, so I am less likely to spend time surfing the web or catching up with friends on Facebook. Utilizing my home office space also helps keep my work space and family space separate (see this related post). 

5. Make time for writing events, coffee meetings or meet ups with other writers. When you have a full plate, heading off for a lunch date or devoting an entire saturday to a workshop can seem like a poor use of time. However, those meetings can leave you walking away feeling more energized and enthused about your own work. When you sit back down to write, the chances are you’ll have a little more spring in your step, which I swear can show through in the written word.

How about you? What do you know now that you wish you’d known then, be it about writing, motherhood or anything else?

Friday Favorites

Here are a few of my favorite reads and online stops from this week:

If you’re a writer, you have to read Robert Lee Brewster’s blog My Name is Not Bob. Every week I have a favorite post from him. This week it is on branding and it is a great read for established writers and newbies alike.

As someone who loves Pinterest, I found this article on the site and its copyright violations interesting.

Dr. Seuss’s birthday is coming up. How are you going to celebrate? Find some inspiration here. If you’re up to it, you could try out the Lorax cake pops featured on Bakerella this week.

I hope you enjoy your weekend. My hubby is heading to a conference, and the kiddos and I are going to clean some baby items out of the attic and prep for my little guy’s birthday, which is coming up soon. I am also going to wrap up a couple of newsletter articles and a full-length feature during my little ones’ naps and after bedtime. What is on your agenda?

Gaining Control

Checking Off the To-Do ListThe freelance life comes with uncertainties. I can’t always predict how much work I’ll have or when, clients’ needs may change, last-minute projects arise and sources may be hard to line up.

The very nature of this lifestyle means I lack a certain amount of control. I don’t mind the ebbs and flows that come with freelancing, but there are a few things that help me maintain my sanity. Here are four ways to help keep (or gain) control as freelancer.

1. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can get done today. When you have a deadline that is six weeks away, it might be tempting to put off interviews for a few more weeks. But I’ve found that you never know what might happen. A great project with a pressing deadline may come your way or you might come down with the flu. The freelance lifestyle doesn’t come with sick days or anyone else to pick up the slack, so it is important to stay on top of things. That means you should line up those interviews and start researching stories as soon as you get the assignment, even if you have to flip over the calendar to write down the deadline.

The same holds true with family to-dos. Evan’s birthday party is still a few weeks away, but his fully assembled goody bags and paper goods have been sitting in my guest closet for well over a month now. I took care of it when I had some spare time and I am so happy I did because the last few weeks have been crazy for me. In addition to a busy work schedule, I’ve had sick kids that have needed some extra love and care. It is nice to know I have one less thing on my to-do list.

2. Utilize lists. And speaking of to-do lists, I really do use pen and paper to make them. My to-do lists seem less overwhelming when I actually take the time to write them down instead of stressing about them in my mind. More often than not, seeing my to-dos in black and white brings a sense of relief and let’s me focus on the most important items first. Plus I feel oh-so-good when I can start checking things off of those lists.

3. Keep projects front and center. Right now I have a handful of primary clients. To stay organized, I have clipboards for three of my clients that hang above my desk. Each clipboard holds information about my latest assignment, the deadline, sources and the status of those I’ve talked to. I love having an at-a-glance overview of my assignments. For my other clients, I have file folders with key project information. I find a certain amount of comfort in having hard copies of assignments and research at my fingertips.

4. Determine how long you think a project should take and try to stick to the schedule. I try to determine how much time I should spend on a project based on a) how long it will take to produce the results I want and b) what my rate is. Once I get that number, I try to be as efficient as possible to come in on target.  It really helps cut out the amount of time I spend surfing the web or completing other non-work tasks during work time.

That’s what works for me, but I’d love to learn from you. What tips do you have on maintaining control of your life?

Image by Gary Mcinnes courtesy of Stock Exchange. 

Friday Favorites

Here are a few of my favorite reads from this week:

This list of top blogs for writers by My Name is Not Bob is a great resource.

The Writer’s Digest blog post Six Tips to Resuscitate a Dying Author Blog has some good ideas.

Love this video from Freshly Picked about getting clear about what you want and then going after it (thanks Amy for sharing!).

I can’t wait to see this documentary about Harper Lee that will be out in May.  I read my older brother’s ratty old copy of To Kill a Mockingbird every year (think high school English circa 1985). Not only do I love the book, I love seeing my brother’s notes in the margins.

This video about the effect of t.v. on the minds of young children made me rethink what I let my kids watch. It also made me happy we spend a lot of time reading in our house.

And, if you’re looking for something to do with the kiddos, try out these beads made out of newspaper. They’re on our agenda for this weekend.

The Path to Becoming a Freelancer

Years ago, I freelanced on the copy desk of a national financial magazine. I became a regular and put in a week or so of long days each month as they were putting the magazine to bed. Every so often a freelance writer with a column in the magazine would stop by for a meeting and to chit chat with people she knew in the office. In my mind, she was a celebrity. She worked from home and had a column (which she still has) in a national magazine. I secretly hoped to be like her one day.

Fast forward eight years later and here I am, a full-time, work-at-home freelance writer. I don’t have the column in a national, glossy magazine, but thanks to some creativity and hard work, I make a living based on the written word.

I truly believe that if I can do it, you can too. I often get questions from people asking how to become a freelance writer and the truth is, there is no set, magic path. I know how much I wanted there to be some formula I could follow, so I’m sure you’re hoping for the same thing. All entrepreneurs’ paths will be different because our strengths, interests, motivations and past experiences are different.

When I left my full-time office job nearly four years ago, I was determined to make my freelance business a success. I had researched how to build a successful freelance career, written freelance articles on the side for a few years and had talked with my then employer about freelancing for her. Yet, I was still worried that I wouldn’t have enough work to make ends meet.

If anything, I’ve been surprised by the abundance of work that is out there. As a freelancer, I write press releases, blog posts, speeches, feature articles, short news items and newsletters for a variety of clients. This work doesn’t just fall in my lap. It is a result of drawing on my strengths. I think one of my strongest attributes is my ability to pull together difficult data and making it reader friendly, which is why I spend a good portion of my writing time on complex fuel and transportation issues. There are plenty of times that I write about a subject that doesn’t interest me on a personal level, but I do it because it gets me to my goal of being a self-employed writer.

My advice to those who want to write is to sit down and make a list of your interests, strengths and everyone you know who could possibly provide you with work. By examining your skills and interests, you can see what you bring to the table that others don’t. Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box. You may not be able to pay your bills by doing only what you love, but with some creative thinking, you can cobble together an income.

If you haven’t read it, you may want to take a look at this post where I shared six tips for freelance success and this one where I shared my top three go-to sources for work. 

The most important tip I can offer freelancers is don’t be afraid to ask! All too often I think we shy away from asking someone about a potential project or story simply because we’re afraid. Don’t be. You might be pleasantly surprised. Undoubtedly there will be times when you strike out. When I first hung my own shingle, it pained me each time I saw a lull in my work, but I persisted and eventually learned to embrace the ebb and flow that comes with this lifestyle. Through trial and error, you will find the freelance path that works best for you.

Do you have any freelancing questions I can help answer? I’m happy to share what works for me.

 

Goings On

Wow. The last few weeks have felt pretty hectic at our house. There are only so many hours in the day, and when something in my little world has to drop, I usually let the blog take the fall. Thank you for sticking around and checking back in with me!

While I haven’t been posting regularly, I have been giving the blog some attention offline. I have a handful of half-written posts and I’m putting some plans into action to breathe new life into this little outlet of mine. Be sure to tune in on Wednesday when I offer some how-to advice based on readers’ questions about becoming a freelancer.

Thank you to all of you who have expressed your sweet condolences about Granny. My web hosting company had some technical issues and lost my original post, which also means I lost the nice comments many of you left. I re-posted it, but for some reason comments weren’t working, so your kind emails are very much appreciated.

My little guy has needed some extra attention over the past few weeks. Sometimes I think he doesn’t understand Granny is gone for good, then he’ll say something that makes me realize his little heart is hurting. Motherhood is a new and exciting journey, and I always feel like I should know what to do, but more often than not, I don’t. Plus, as the mom of two, I’m finding that what worked with one child doesn’t necessarily work with the other. That means I feel like I’m constantly starting at ground zero. Can anyone relate? Do you know a secret that I don’t?

On the paid-work front, life has been good! I have several features in the works and I am working on a fun speech for a client. I’m always grateful that I get to earn a living as a writer.

And, speaking of being a writer, on Friday night I took part in the Writer’s Center Leesburg First Friday event with an awesome blogging-turned-real-life friend. It is the first time in about two years that I’ve met up with a group of other writers and it was so much fun to be in a room with all of that creative energy. It was also a great reminder that there are so many ways to be a writer (i.e. you don’t have to have a day job as a writer to be a writer). If you’re a writer looking to add some energy to your writing routine, I definitely recommend seeking out a writing group in your area.

The Benefits of Being a Write-at-Home Mom

 

More and more I am finding my days peppered with bittersweet reminders that my baby boy is growing up. A slight annoyance when I run my fingers through his hair or a silly face instead of a smile when I try to take his picture is proof that Evan is proclaiming his independence a little more every day. My heart breaks each time I see the baby I once held disappearing deeper and deeper inside my boy.

Today while Madelyn was napping, I suggested projects, games and activities to entertain Evan. I was rebuffed every time. He was wearing a Transformers mask, Ironman glove and a fireman hat when he looked up at me and said, “Can I have a friend over?”

For years I’ve been the center of his little universe and had to plot out ways to keep him occupied. Then today, for the first time I can remember, my boy chose someone other than me. He's had play dates before, but this one was different. He initiated it, and when his friend got here, he didn't need me around. It stung, but this afternoon while he and his friend were playing downstairs and Madelyn and I busied ourselves upstairs, I felt even more grateful that I’ve been a write-at-home mom for the past four years. I’ve gotten to take advantage of games of hide-and-go-seek, dress up and superheroes all while working around my guy’s schedule.

As a freelancer, there are weeks that are much harder than any full-time job I’ve ever held. (Last year I pulled my first all nighter ever AND had to take care of my kids the next day—that was rough!) But the subtle reminders about how quickly my boy’s toddler years passed are also my inspiration for keeping my freelance business afloat.

Evan starts kindergarten next year, and I don’t want to miss out on any of the joy that the school year brings. I also want to savor Madelyn’s toddler years, even though I think navigating her tantrums will be quite the adventure. At the same time, I love writing, and the value I get out of my career. I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I think being a write-at-home mom is the closest I can get to that! So tonight, I will go to bed mourning the 'loss' of the little boy that used to let me snuggle him whenever I wanted and liked when I played with his hair, but I will also be feeling grateful for freelancing and the schedule it has allowed me to keep.