Favorites from the Week

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Alexis Grant has a great post on pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

I can’t wait until writer and illustrator Debbie Ridpath Ohi publishes a book of her comics for writers, which she has tentatively titled Will Write for Chocolate. Her comics are always right on and the perfect way to brighten my day. This Valentine comic was a favorite this week.

Freelancer Steph Auteri reminds us to be generous with our writing community. Her post goes along well with this one from Seth Godin on the sad irony of selfishness.

Linda Formichelli (aka the Renegade Writer) shared a successful query letter on her blog along with a link to the final article. It is an awesome example and the article is a great read, especially if you’re a BPA-, perchloroethylene- and pesticide-fearing momma like me.

I can totally relate to this post about Girl Scout Cookies from freelance writer Jennifer Larson. She has pledged to buy the overpriced cookies from anyone who asks because she remembers selling them. I’m right there with her and have spent too much on Girl Scout cookies this year.

 

Easy Bird Feeder

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If you’re looking for a quick and easy activity to keep the kids entertained, try these simple bird feeders. Just spread peanut butter on a toilet paper roll, roll it in bird seed and slip onto a branch. The level of parent involvement needed depends on how much mess you’re willing to clean up at the end.

Evan loved making the bird feeders (Madelyn was napping). As we were placing them on branches in our front yard, a flock of birds flew overhead. Evan shouted, “Look, mommy! I think they can smell them.”

It was a hit.

My Mantra

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When the day (or even the hour or minute) is particularly hectic and I am at my wits end, I repeat a few little words that bring back a sense of calm: God, give me the grace for this day. It is the first line Marjorie Holmes’s prayer Just for Today. Those few little words are my form of meditation. They remind me that the moment is temporary. Whether the kids or screaming or I am crashing on deadline, it helps. Here’s the poem, in case it helps you, too!

Just for Today

Oh, God, give me grace for this day.
Not for a lifetime, nor for next week, not for tomorrow, just for this day.
Direct my thoughts and bless them,
Direct my work and bless it.
Direct the things I say and give them blessing, too.
Direct and bless everything that I think and speak and do.
So that for this one day, just this one day, I have the gift of grace that comes from your presence.

Photo by J-Stuart courtesy of Stock Exchange.

Friday Favorites

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Here are a few of my favorite reads from this week:

This list of top blogs for writers by My Name is Not Bob is a great resource.

The Writer’s Digest blog post Six Tips to Resuscitate a Dying Author Blog has some good ideas.

Love this video from Freshly Picked about getting clear about what you want and then going after it (thanks Amy for sharing!).

I can’t wait to see this documentary about Harper Lee that will be out in May.  I read my older brother’s ratty old copy of To Kill a Mockingbird every year (think high school English circa 1985). Not only do I love the book, I love seeing my brother’s notes in the margins.

This video about the effect of t.v. on the minds of young children made me rethink what I let my kids watch. It also made me happy we spend a lot of time reading in our house.

And, if you’re looking for something to do with the kiddos, try out these beads made out of newspaper. They’re on our agenda for this weekend.

The Path to Becoming a Freelancer

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Years ago, I freelanced on the copy desk of a national financial magazine. I became a regular and put in a week or so of long days each month as they were putting the magazine to bed. Every so often a freelance writer with a column in the magazine would stop by for a meeting and to chit chat with people she knew in the office. In my mind, she was a celebrity. She worked from home and had a column (which she still has) in a national magazine. I secretly hoped to be like her one day.

Fast forward eight years later and here I am, a full-time, work-at-home freelance writer. I don’t have the column in a national, glossy magazine, but thanks to some creativity and hard work, I make a living based on the written word.

I truly believe that if I can do it, you can too. I often get questions from people asking how to become a freelance writer and the truth is, there is no set, magic path. I know how much I wanted there to be some formula I could follow, so I’m sure you’re hoping for the same thing. All entrepreneurs’ paths will be different because our strengths, interests, motivations and past experiences are different.

When I left my full-time office job nearly four years ago, I was determined to make my freelance business a success. I had researched how to build a successful freelance career, written freelance articles on the side for a few years and had talked with my then employer about freelancing for her. Yet, I was still worried that I wouldn’t have enough work to make ends meet.

If anything, I’ve been surprised by the abundance of work that is out there. As a freelancer, I write press releases, blog posts, speeches, feature articles, short news items and newsletters for a variety of clients. This work doesn’t just fall in my lap. It is a result of drawing on my strengths. I think one of my strongest attributes is my ability to pull together difficult data and making it reader friendly, which is why I spend a good portion of my writing time on complex fuel and transportation issues. There are plenty of times that I write about a subject that doesn’t interest me on a personal level, but I do it because it gets me to my goal of being a self-employed writer.

My advice to those who want to write is to sit down and make a list of your interests, strengths and everyone you know who could possibly provide you with work. By examining your skills and interests, you can see what you bring to the table that others don’t. Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box. You may not be able to pay your bills by doing only what you love, but with some creative thinking, you can cobble together an income.

If you haven’t read it, you may want to take a look at this post where I shared six tips for freelance success and this one where I shared my top three go-to sources for work. 

The most important tip I can offer freelancers is don’t be afraid to ask! All too often I think we shy away from asking someone about a potential project or story simply because we’re afraid. Don’t be. You might be pleasantly surprised. Undoubtedly there will be times when you strike out. When I first hung my own shingle, it pained me each time I saw a lull in my work, but I persisted and eventually learned to embrace the ebb and flow that comes with this lifestyle. Through trial and error, you will find the freelance path that works best for you.

Do you have any freelancing questions I can help answer? I’m happy to share what works for me.

 

Goings On

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Wow. The last few weeks have felt pretty hectic at our house. There are only so many hours in the day, and when something in my little world has to drop, I usually let the blog take the fall. Thank you for sticking around and checking back in with me!

While I haven’t been posting regularly, I have been giving the blog some attention offline. I have a handful of half-written posts and I’m putting some plans into action to breathe new life into this little outlet of mine. Be sure to tune in on Wednesday when I offer some how-to advice based on readers’ questions about becoming a freelancer.

Thank you to all of you who have expressed your sweet condolences about Granny. My web hosting company had some technical issues and lost my original post, which also means I lost the nice comments many of you left. I re-posted it, but for some reason comments weren’t working, so your kind emails are very much appreciated.

My little guy has needed some extra attention over the past few weeks. Sometimes I think he doesn’t understand Granny is gone for good, then he’ll say something that makes me realize his little heart is hurting. Motherhood is a new and exciting journey, and I always feel like I should know what to do, but more often than not, I don’t. Plus, as the mom of two, I’m finding that what worked with one child doesn’t necessarily work with the other. That means I feel like I’m constantly starting at ground zero. Can anyone relate? Do you know a secret that I don’t?

On the paid-work front, life has been good! I have several features in the works and I am working on a fun speech for a client. I’m always grateful that I get to earn a living as a writer.

And, speaking of being a writer, on Friday night I took part in the Writer’s Center Leesburg First Friday event with an awesome blogging-turned-real-life friend. It is the first time in about two years that I’ve met up with a group of other writers and it was so much fun to be in a room with all of that creative energy. It was also a great reminder that there are so many ways to be a writer (i.e. you don’t have to have a day job as a writer to be a writer). If you’re a writer looking to add some energy to your writing routine, I definitely recommend seeking out a writing group in your area.

Saying Goodbye to Granny

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One of the best things about marrying Bryan was that I had a grandma again. She lived in Las Vegas when we got married and moved closer to us about six years ago. We have loved having her here and I feel so lucky to have watched as she and Evan fell head-over-heels in love with each other. The two of them developed a special little bond that I hope will last forever. After all, Granny was the one who gave Evan his special little Taggie Bear that he clings to each night.

Evan’s favorite thing to do was to take Granny donuts. Yesterday when I told him Granny was sick, he said, “I know what will make her feel better! Let’s you, me, dad and Madelyn take her donuts.”

It’s what we’ve always done, but I explained that she might be going to Heaven this time and we might not get to see her again. His face got very still and he said, “But I want to take her her favorite donut before she goes to Heaven.”

He didn’t get to. Granny left us this morning. I know she was ready to go. Just a few weeks ago I asked her how she was feeling and she said, “Mindy, I’m afraid I’m going to live to be 100.” I told her I wanted her to, and I meant it. I loved my visits with Granny. We’d share recipes and books and she always smiled when she saw my kids. She was a kick to be around.

She ended each day with a Manhattan—a cocktail made with nothing more than whiskey, vermouth and bitters. Granny preferred Jack Daniels to Jim Beam. One time, Bryan and I went to dinner with Granny and we decided we’d each have a Manhattan along with her. I had no idea what was even in a Manhattan, but if Granny liked it, I figured I could handle it, too. Bryan and I couldn’t stomach them and Granny ended up finishing all three.

I always loved visiting Granny when she lived in Las Vegas. Bryan and I would pick her up her favorite coconut cake from Jerry’s Nugget and play Bingo with her at the Station Casinos. She was a regular there. The valets knew her name and the waitresses knew her drink.

Granny was a machine in the casino. She had five Bingo cards to my two and could still have all of her cards stamped and lean over to help me before the next number was called. I think I was a sweaty mess from the stress of it all by the time we made our way to the slots. She was just as skilled there. At one point, I won. Granny leaned over and did the math before the slot machine finished ringing up my numbers. She was dead on.

Shortly after Granny moved to Maryland, Bryan and I saw a news report about the Station Casinos’ stock price dropping. Ever the accountant, Bryan created an Excel spreadsheet that showed the direct correlation between Granny’s move and the decreasing profits at the casino. I think Vegas missed her as much as she missed Vegas.

Fortunately for us, she moved here right before we started our family and got to be among the first people to hold both of my kids when they were born.

When Evan was a toddler, we started each visit at Granny’s house by moving her red candy dishes off of her coffee table. Then, as Evan grew, he would move the candy dishes all on his own. When Madelyn started toddling around, she would take the wrapped candy out of each dish and deliver them one at a time to Granny. She would then retrieve them all and place them back in the dish one by one.

Granny has been a part of every birthday and holiday my kids have ever known.

They got to color Easter eggs with her and show off their Halloween costumes.

They picked out Christmas and birthday gifts for her and loved going out to eat. In the summer, we’d stop at Jimmy Cone for ice cream after our meal. Everyone went home sticky.

It was Granny who slipped Evan his first bites of ice cream when he was just a baby. I think that is when they became true partners in crime.

Last night, Bryan and I visited Granny in the hospital. She didn’t open her eyes, but we held her hand and cried by her bed. I thanked her for loving my kids. Because really, that is the best gift you can ever give a mother—to love her kids.

She always had some sort of special treat for Evan—a toy truck, a piece of cake or even just a piece of candy. She also had a kiss and a hug for him and did the same for Madelyn when she came along.

Tonight before bed, Evan told me he didn’t want to never see Granny again. I told him I felt the same way. Then I asked him what he loved most about her. “She was so nice,” he said.

As we left the hospital last night, I held my husband’s hand and told him how lucky he is to have gotten to have Granny for so long. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it may even make it worse, especially as we try to explain things to Evan and mourn Granny’s loss. But I am oh-so grateful I got to have a grandma again despite the pain that comes from having to say goodbye. She was an awesome lady and I know Bernie is happy to have her with him again.

The Benefits of Being a Write-at-Home Mom

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More and more I am finding my days peppered with bittersweet reminders that my baby boy is growing up. A slight annoyance when I run my fingers through his hair or a silly face instead of a smile when I try to take his picture is proof that Evan is proclaiming his independence a little more every day. My heart breaks each time I see the baby I once held disappearing deeper and deeper inside my boy.

Today while Madelyn was napping, I suggested projects, games and activities to entertain Evan. I was rebuffed every time. He was wearing a Transformers mask, Ironman glove and a fireman hat when he looked up at me and said, “Can I have a friend over?”

For years I’ve been the center of his little universe and had to plot out ways to keep him occupied. Then today, for the first time I can remember, my boy chose someone other than me. He's had play dates before, but this one was different. He initiated it, and when his friend got here, he didn't need me around. It stung, but this afternoon while he and his friend were playing downstairs and Madelyn and I busied ourselves upstairs, I felt even more grateful that I’ve been a write-at-home mom for the past four years. I’ve gotten to take advantage of games of hide-and-go-seek, dress up and superheroes all while working around my guy’s schedule.

As a freelancer, there are weeks that are much harder than any full-time job I’ve ever held. (Last year I pulled my first all nighter ever AND had to take care of my kids the next day—that was rough!) But the subtle reminders about how quickly my boy’s toddler years passed are also my inspiration for keeping my freelance business afloat.

Evan starts kindergarten next year, and I don’t want to miss out on any of the joy that the school year brings. I also want to savor Madelyn’s toddler years, even though I think navigating her tantrums will be quite the adventure. At the same time, I love writing, and the value I get out of my career. I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I think being a write-at-home mom is the closest I can get to that! So tonight, I will go to bed mourning the 'loss' of the little boy that used to let me snuggle him whenever I wanted and liked when I played with his hair, but I will also be feeling grateful for freelancing and the schedule it has allowed me to keep. 

A Day in the Life

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I love being a full-time freelance and mama. People often ask me how I structure my days to make the most of my time. I shared a little bit over on The Traveling Writer, but to give you a sneak peak into a typical day for me, here is a play-by-play account of a day last week:

5:00 a.m.: Our house is up and moving thanks to two little kiddos that have no idea just how early 5:00 really is. I spend the next three hours finding just the right Elmo video, getting myself ready, preparing lunches, packing school bags and feeding the kids breakfast.

8:00 a.m.: The whole family is loaded in the car and we’re driving to Metro to drop my husband off at his train, then it is off to preschool. As my husband is driving to the train station, I check email and have a message from a client asking if I can write about a new regulatory issue for her newsletter. I write back and ask if I can turn it in on Monday morning. She agrees.

9:30 a.m.: Finish the preschool drop off and head off to a meeting with an editor to discuss taking over two sections of his magazine on a regular basis. I am super excited!

10:00 a.m.: Arrive at my meeting. Take a diaper and a Spiderman mask out of my purse and replace it with my monogrammed leather portfolio. Realize I’m a little early and spend some time reviewing the magazine I’m going to be discussing. At this point I also realize that in the morning rush of making sure everyone else was fed, I didn’t eat any breakfast. I check out my snack stash and discover that all that is left are some Cheeze-Its and a half-full box of hard raisins. I opt for the crackers and make a mental note to stick some better snacks in the car.

10:30 a.m.: I have a great meeting with the editor. We discuss his needs and the timing and exactly how he wants the final product delivered (separate files, one file, etc.). I use the face-to-face meeting as an opportunity to discuss the top issues he expects to cover this year and what his readership is the most interested in right now.

11:30 a.m.: Drive back to my home office, grab a protein bar and finish proofing a magazine for a client.

12:30 p.m.: Start researching a story I would like to pitch to a new publication and conduct interviews on two features due next week. Surprisingly, I connect with three sources on the first try! Yeah!

2:20 p.m.: Go and pick my kids up from school. We stay and play on the playground before leaving for home. We spend the rest of the afternoon playing, making dinner and tidying up around the house.

5:30 p.m.: Feed the kids dinner. Then, like a fool, I mixed up some homemade bathtub paints and put the kids in the tub. The kids loved it, but it made an awful mess for me to clean up.

6:30 p.m.: Pick my husband up from Metro.

7:30 p.m.: Put the kids in bed. Wipe the tub down one more time.

8:00 p.m.: Work on the features that I researched during the day. Catch up on Facebook (a guilty pleasure) and watch Jersey Shore (the ultimate guilty pleasure).

11:30 p.m.: Call it a night and go to bed!

P.S. In case you are foolish enough to want to treat your kids to some homemade bathtub paint, mix ½ cup cornstarch, ½ cup hot water and one cup of bath wash. Mix in some food coloring and let your kids have at it.

Well-Meaning Dream Killers

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When I announced my decision to go freelance over three years ago, a handful of well-meaning people tried to talk me out of it. They told me how hard it is to make a living as a freelancer, they reminded me that work would be unsteady and they also brought up the fact that I’d no longer have health insurance or a 401(k) match.

I smiled and nodded. I told them I understood the risks. Sometimes I told them rewards would be much greater. Other times I kept my mouth shut, but each time I thought of my little boy who I wanted to spend more time with and I continued on my path determined to prove them wrong.

The truth is, every day naysayers talk people out of pursuing their dreams. Taking charge of your career path and becoming the captain of your own ship isn’t easy and those that are easily persuaded may not be well suited for the challenges that come with entrpreneurship, but I’m sure plenty are. As hard as it is, we have to silence the negative voices that keep us from taking risks and persuing our dreams. Sometimes those voices are our own.

I had wanted to freelance  years before I finally did it. My fears kept me on a path that came with a steady paycheck and benefits. I loved my job and what I was doing, so rocking the boat felt risky. Then, my son came along. I hired a nanny and returned to work full time after my maternity leave was over, but the fit wasn’t right. Finally, my little guy was the catalyst that made me hang my own shingle. I knew how hard it was to kiss him goodbye each morning and get home just in time to put him to bed. I also knew that I had the skills and the personality that would allow me to chart my own course. I was certain the rewards would outweigh the risks of being self employed and had confidence in my abilities.

I think we all need some motivating factor to make us take the next step. Mine was the deep desire to structure a career around my family, but for you it might be something else. I know not everyone dreams of being a freelancer, but I am certain we all have dreams. No matter what your ambition is, grab onto it because I’m sure your capable of it. I was, but it would have been very easy to let even those well-meaning people I know talk me out of it. Now, nearly four years later, I have two little kiddos I get to spend more time with and I am making a full-time living as a freelancer. If I can find a way to do it, I know you can to.